The Truth About Arguments

Never argue with people. It merely strengthens the confidence of their preconceived ideas and beliefs. It’s a waste of all the things you cherish: your time, your energy and your well-being. People revert to a defensive mentality when an argument bubbles to the surface. A raised voice, or any visible signs of anger they detect in you will cause them to feel threatened, and thus forced into a position where they need to defend themselves. It’s quite common in an argument for you to start mirroring the perceived threat and adopt the aggressiveness of the other person. From that point, no one wins and all you get is tirade of emotions.

Secretly, we’re fighting for superiority when we argue. We want that innate satisfaction of feeling as though we are above the other person in some way. The actual truth usually has little to do with it. We want to show people that we are capable of holding our own and that we can be vocal about our thoughts and feelings. We don’t want to appear weak or as though we are likely to capitulate under pressure. Exhibiting strength in the face of adversity can do wonders for our psychological well being, but it’s also a sure fire way of getting roped into a pointless argument where we waste energy.

Has anyone ever truly changed their mind over something because they heard a compelling, logical argument? I think a resounding no probably answers that. In all the debates I’ve listened to of people arguing their points and opinions, I’ve never come across an instance where at the end the other person adopts a completely different belief due to something that’s actually changed the way they see things


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